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Many
years ago (well, not all that many) in a small country town in South
Georgia, (or some place like it), on a day much like any other day
(it was raining), the Chicken-Infant was hatched (born).
He was fuzzy. He was cute. He was iddy biddy.
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The
Chicken-Infant grew to become a Chicken-Toddler and then
a Chicken-Boy. His parents, the Culvers, realizing that
their son was somehow different than all the other chickens
(and children), decided not to keep him cooped up.
They gave him regular food and clothing, called him Mike
and sent him to school.
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As
Mike grew to become a Chicken-Adolescent, he
realized that he had a special gift. He began
learning how to sing, well, not really sing
because chickens can't sing ( we don't want
them to). No, Mike learned how to make it look
like he was singing. He played records and learned
to move his stiff little lips. Having lived
so much of his life in people outfits, a strict
requirement of the public school system in those
days, Mike grew accustomed to "dressing
up."
One fateful day, at a PTA meeting,
the PTA president herself invited Mike to be
in the county fair talent show. (Unfortunately,
he didn't get to live in his home town after
that. The local townspeople were not pleased
with his impersonation of Marilyn Monroe singing
"Happy Birthday" to John F. Kennedy.)
Nevertheless, as many geniuses before him, Mike
persevered and his career was launched. In no
time at all Mike found his true calling in life.
Mike Culver became -
 
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As
the years rolled by, it wasn't always
easy being the Chicken-Man. While
he still sought acceptance among
those who failed to understand the
nature of his quest, others clamored
for the Chicken-Man's favor. A lessor
Chicken-Man might have grown tired
of the constant struggle to stay
on top and simply moon-walked off
into the sunset.
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so with Chicken-Man Mike Culver. He
had a vision and a plan and the support
of a wife and child. (As we all know,
behind every good Chicken-Man, there's
a good Chicken-Man wife putting up
with a lot of Chicken-Man stuff.)
And so with steely determination and
a lot of weird outfits, Mike expanded
his horizons and made a reality of
his life long dream.
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